One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. Carl Jung
In our work together, this means meeting the parts you’ve had to hide — not to judge or fix, but to understand them with honesty and care.
You might have heard the phrase sex addiction — it’s a term that’s often used in the media or everyday conversations. But many therapists, including myself, use a different and more compassionate term: Compulsive Sexual Behaviour (CSB). This language helps move away from shame or moral judgement, and instead recognises that for some people, sex or sexual behaviours can become a way of coping with deeper emotional pain, stress, or unmet needs.
CSB is recognised in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) as a mental health condition. This doesn’t mean your sexuality is wrong or broken — it means that your relationship with sex may have become compulsive, distressing, or hard to manage, even when it no longer feels good or in line with your values. Therapy can help you explore what’s going on beneath the surface — gently and without shame.
Coming to therapy to explore CSB doesn’t mean you’re broken, bad, or beyond repair. Often, CSB is not really about sex itself — but about the deeper emotions, unmet needs, or early experiences that shape how we cope, soothe, or disconnect. Sometimes, it’s about longing for closeness while fearing it at the same time. Sometimes, it’s a way to numb pain, escape shame, or momentarily feel powerful, wanted, or in control.
For many people I work with, there’s a cycle: a sense of emotional build-up — stress, anxiety, loneliness, or overwhelm — followed by a sexual behaviour that brings temporary relief, and then a wave of guilt, shame, or self-reproach. It can feel isolating. And it can be hard to talk about — especially when the behaviour involves pornography, hook-up apps, infidelity, or kink that’s been hidden or carried in secrecy.
You might be unsure if your relationship with sex is a ‘problem’ — or you might know it’s not working but feel stuck in trying to change it alone. Therapy doesn’t offer quick fixes, but it can offer something deeper: space to slow down, get curious, and begin to understand your patterns in a new way — with care and without judgement.
Together, we can explore:
As a humanistic and integrative psychotherapist I draw on a trauma-informed, psychodynamic and attachment-based approach, and offer a space that is affirming, collaborative, and non-pathologising. If you’re navigating compulsive sexual behaviour — whether it’s pornography, hook-ups, online content, or something you’re not yet ready to name — know that you’re not alone. You don’t have to keep carrying it in silence.
Discovering that your partner is struggling with compulsive sexual behaviour (CSB) can feel overwhelming, confusing, and deeply painful. For many partners, it can feel like the ground has shifted — bringing up questions around trust, safety, intimacy, and the future of the relationship. You may be grappling with feelings of betrayal, anger, grief, or self-doubt. And you may be wondering if it’s even okay to feel how you’re feeling.
What you’re experiencing is valid. CSB doesn’t just affect the person engaging in the behaviour — it can have a profound emotional impact on their partner too. It’s not uncommon to feel blindsided, to question your own worth, or to move between wanting to understand and wanting to pull away.
As a humanistic and trauma-informed psychotherapist, I offer a non-judgemental, supportive space where you can begin to make sense of what’s happened — and what it means for you. I don’t pathologise your reactions or rush to make meaning. Instead, I meet you where you are, recognising that your response is shaped by your values, your boundaries, your past experiences, and your sense of what feels safe.
Whether you choose to stay, leave, or are simply unsure, psychotherapy can support you in:
You don’t need to carry this alone — and you don’t need to be responsible for “fixing” someone else. This space is for you.
For many people, their relationship with pornography is complex — marked by confusion, fear, or even panic. You might feel like it’s taken up more space than you’d like, or that it’s become something you turn to out of habit — even when it no longer brings much satisfaction. Maybe you’ve tried to stop, cut back, or change your watching, only to find yourself returning to it again, often with secrecy or shame.
There’s often a lot of misunderstanding and moral judgement when it comes to pornography. Pornography doesn’t necessarily need to be seen in such stark terms of “good” or “bad” — my intention is to offer a human and compassionate space. For some people, pornography can be part of a healthy and affirming relationship with fantasy, pleasure, or desire. For others, it can become distressing or compulsive — interfering with relationships, wellbeing, or self-worth.
While pornography can be part of a healthy and curious sexual life, it may become problematic when it begins to feel compulsive, distressing, or difficult to stop. This might look like watching porn in ways that interfere with your work, relationships, or sense of self; using it to avoid difficult emotions or cope with loneliness, criticism, or not feeling ‘good enough’; or returning to it even when it no longer feels enjoyable, in alignment with your values, or truly connected to desire. Pornography may become problematic when it’s no longer about pleasure, but about coping — when it stops feeling like a choice and starts feeling like a need or what it’s trying to soothe. This might include using pornography to escape uncomfortable emotions, avoid vulnerability, or fill a deeper sense of loneliness or inadequacy.
Sometimes, compulsive watching of pornography can be a way of coping with:
Stress, anxiety, or loneliness
Feelings of not being good enough
Shame, trauma, or self-criticism
Past experiences of rejection or emotional disconnection
Seeking validation, comfort, or control
In some cases, people turn to pornography after being criticised or feeling unworthy — looking for something that temporarily soothes those deeper wounds. This can include more specific dynamics such as financial domination (findom), which may carry a complex mix of meaning, fantasy, and emotional need.
At times, porn viewing may feel like a compulsion — something that brings short-term relief but longer-term discomfort. You might return to it even when it no longer aligns with your values or how you want to live and connect.
You’re not alone — and you’re not broken. Shame often thrives in silence, especially around topics like sex, fantasy, or pornography. Psychotherapy can offer a confidential space to explore what’s really going on beneath the surface — gently, at your own pace, and without judgement.
Psychotherapy can help to explore:
What pornography means to you emotionally, relationally, or sexually
The emotional or situational triggers for your use
When and why it has started to feel more compulsive or distressing
How shame, secrecy, or earlier experiences may be influencing current patterns
The kind of sexual, relational, or emotional life you want to build
New ways of coping, connecting, and feeling more in control
I work from a trauma-informed, integrative approach — combining psychodynamic and attachment-based understanding. This isn’t about pathologising your sexuality or imposing a fixed goal. It’s about getting curious, being honest, and exploring what’s underneath the behaviour with compassion and care. Whatever your relationship with pornography looks like, it deserves to be met with respect — and you don’t have to navigate it alone.